Mood:Frustrated
Song of Choice: “Some where I belong.” By Linkin Park
Topic: Like your father…
Man I kinda miss my dad…it’s weird there’s no really good reason as to why I should miss him he’s never really been around in a positive way. I don’t have many good memories of him I remember getting in trouble and yelled at and stuff when I was younger and well I basically haven’t really seen him since I was about 14 you know. Well that’s not 100% true I saw him for about 5 weeks but even then I went to school and he was at work so he was there but he wasn’t really there you know. I remember very few things my dad ever taught me I only truly remember like 3 things and the only reason that is is because I use it.
#1 When you’re doing something wrong don’t act like it. Um…this was kinda in regard to a movie we were watching. It was a car movie and this guy was trying to steal a really nice car but he was looking around being paranoid. My dad said if you’re gonna do it do it and quit wasting time thinking about whether you’re gonna get caught or not. I’ve used that one in regard to being late to class or walking in the hall without a pass it works.
#2 When you have no idea what you’re doing act like you do and people think you do. Haha this too also works I can’t think of too many times that I’ve used it though I’m pretty up front when I’m clueless.
#3 The knowledge is power crap. I always thought it was crap until I got placed around stupid people then I was like holy crap. Anyway beyond that not much.
I think the reason I kinda want to talk to him now is because well here’s the deal. I’ll be talking to my mom and well I’ll say something or do something and she’ll just laugh at me and say I get whatever that was from my dad. And that drives me nuts. I don’t know who the hell my dad is really I know he just kinda comes and goes not of his own free will but still he does it you know and well besides that what else? I know he’s not me but I kinda wish I had some clue where half the things I do came from.
Like how do I put it…like has he ever been where I’ve been? Can he offer some kinda don’t do this because this is what will probably happen you know? Or how to deal with some of the emotions that I have that I write off as being “wired wrong”.
I mean come on…I mean geeze…that frustrates the hell out of me when my mom says oh you get that from your dad. Get what?! How?! What are you talking about?! Those are those moments when Kim ends up on the roof or the next day up at 6 just sitting outside on the stools looking at the trees or the birds and squirrels. I mean man…I hate that I know he can’t tell me who I am but it makes me so angry for someone to say that I’m like someone that I’ve barely had a whole conversation with! What the hell? Give me something mom tell me a story explain to me how give me some thing to work off of an idea something! I’ve spent like the entirety of my little teen years going how am I like my dad what are you talking about please explain and she can’t!
Lol you know what’s the sad part about all of this lol That For some wacko reason everyone that’s gonna read this is gonna understand haha every single one of you…How sad is that? I wish one of you could say that you didn’t know where I was coming from that way I could feel a little better you know…but no you all know what I’m talking about in some light some of you more than others but you’ll all understand in one way or another…I wish you guys didn’t though. ::sigh:: Man this all is such a blir…some one help me out…well hmm I do know somethings about my dad…I think. I get my I wanna take care of everyone thing from him in a way. He’s like everyones dad…except mine lol I’m not mad just kinda nodding at it you know. I get the whole serious mean/joking thing from him…I think. I no doubt get my temper from him. I think my kindness is his too I’m not really sure. I think that’s it. To tell the truth I don’t know…I wish I did.
But one thing I know that’s mine is my words yupe this all this the way I say things the way I feel the way I love that’s all me I figured out all that on my own ZERO guidance lol so if I mess up I can take the blame in stride. Hehe oh and my cuteness that’s mine too this I know! Lol cuteness is an individual thing that’s why hehe.
::sigh:: I wish a certain someone was here…oh well. Anyway…hmm I got to get ready…Lisette will be over soon. Me and her are going to go out with a few more people—who I’m not sure lol the players keep changing lol.
Bye,
Kim
Song of Choice: “Some where I belong.” By Linkin Park
Topic: Like your father…
Man I kinda miss my dad…it’s weird there’s no really good reason as to why I should miss him he’s never really been around in a positive way. I don’t have many good memories of him I remember getting in trouble and yelled at and stuff when I was younger and well I basically haven’t really seen him since I was about 14 you know. Well that’s not 100% true I saw him for about 5 weeks but even then I went to school and he was at work so he was there but he wasn’t really there you know. I remember very few things my dad ever taught me I only truly remember like 3 things and the only reason that is is because I use it.
#1 When you’re doing something wrong don’t act like it. Um…this was kinda in regard to a movie we were watching. It was a car movie and this guy was trying to steal a really nice car but he was looking around being paranoid. My dad said if you’re gonna do it do it and quit wasting time thinking about whether you’re gonna get caught or not. I’ve used that one in regard to being late to class or walking in the hall without a pass it works.
#2 When you have no idea what you’re doing act like you do and people think you do. Haha this too also works I can’t think of too many times that I’ve used it though I’m pretty up front when I’m clueless.
#3 The knowledge is power crap. I always thought it was crap until I got placed around stupid people then I was like holy crap. Anyway beyond that not much.
I think the reason I kinda want to talk to him now is because well here’s the deal. I’ll be talking to my mom and well I’ll say something or do something and she’ll just laugh at me and say I get whatever that was from my dad. And that drives me nuts. I don’t know who the hell my dad is really I know he just kinda comes and goes not of his own free will but still he does it you know and well besides that what else? I know he’s not me but I kinda wish I had some clue where half the things I do came from.
Like how do I put it…like has he ever been where I’ve been? Can he offer some kinda don’t do this because this is what will probably happen you know? Or how to deal with some of the emotions that I have that I write off as being “wired wrong”.
I mean come on…I mean geeze…that frustrates the hell out of me when my mom says oh you get that from your dad. Get what?! How?! What are you talking about?! Those are those moments when Kim ends up on the roof or the next day up at 6 just sitting outside on the stools looking at the trees or the birds and squirrels. I mean man…I hate that I know he can’t tell me who I am but it makes me so angry for someone to say that I’m like someone that I’ve barely had a whole conversation with! What the hell? Give me something mom tell me a story explain to me how give me some thing to work off of an idea something! I’ve spent like the entirety of my little teen years going how am I like my dad what are you talking about please explain and she can’t!
Lol you know what’s the sad part about all of this lol That For some wacko reason everyone that’s gonna read this is gonna understand haha every single one of you…How sad is that? I wish one of you could say that you didn’t know where I was coming from that way I could feel a little better you know…but no you all know what I’m talking about in some light some of you more than others but you’ll all understand in one way or another…I wish you guys didn’t though. ::sigh:: Man this all is such a blir…some one help me out…well hmm I do know somethings about my dad…I think. I get my I wanna take care of everyone thing from him in a way. He’s like everyones dad…except mine lol I’m not mad just kinda nodding at it you know. I get the whole serious mean/joking thing from him…I think. I no doubt get my temper from him. I think my kindness is his too I’m not really sure. I think that’s it. To tell the truth I don’t know…I wish I did.
But one thing I know that’s mine is my words yupe this all this the way I say things the way I feel the way I love that’s all me I figured out all that on my own ZERO guidance lol so if I mess up I can take the blame in stride. Hehe oh and my cuteness that’s mine too this I know! Lol cuteness is an individual thing that’s why hehe.
::sigh:: I wish a certain someone was here…oh well. Anyway…hmm I got to get ready…Lisette will be over soon. Me and her are going to go out with a few more people—who I’m not sure lol the players keep changing lol.
Bye,
Kim
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